These Savagely Hilarious Texts Will Make Your Day

We’d just like to take a moment to appreciate the invention of the screenshot because, without that, we wouldn’t be able to enjoy these achingly funny text messages. Whether they’re typos, messages intended for other people, or just straight-up bizarre thoughts, the texts you’re about to read are all hilarious in their own unique way.

Also, let these conversations be a little reminder to be careful what you send because the recipient just might screenshot it and post it on the internet! Yikes!

That’s a Burn

Ever send a text to the one you love only to get knocked down in return? Of course, you have! And no one knows that feeling any better than this poor shmuck who hoped to get some love in the form of a sweet text message. But that’s not what happened!

So when crush sent this very poetic rejection message, it became clear that the feelings were not so mutual. We do hope that this was just a bad day and this person does, in fact, love them as much a starry, starry night.

The Die-Hard Fan

If you have kids, you know that bedtime can be challenging to say the least. If that kid isn’t tired, it’s not happening. So when this struggling aunt thought she’d “lull” this four-year-old to sleep with one of the most epically violent shows on television, mom disagreed.

But no, not for the reasons you think! If there’s one thing a “Game of Thrones” fan detests, it’s spoilers, and this dedicated viewer was not going to tolerate her son missing out on any plot points. Now that’s a good mom!

Rock Johnson

There are some celebs out there who have had careers so long and so varied that it’s almost as if they become two different people! Like the drummer from Nirvana and the frontman of Foo-fighters…what are their names again? Oh right, they’re both Dave Grohl!

Becky made the classic mistake of thinking that ex-wrestler, The Rock, and current actor, Dwayne Johnson are in fact, two different people. What’s even better, this dude totally went along with it, trolling poor Becks!

Mr. Attitude

Hey buddy, don’t get smart! This Uber Eats dude lost his cool for some reason and thought it would be okay to snap back at the girl he’s delivering to. Looks like the rest of the response was cut out, or just too rude to share!

We hope she got her grub at the end and that Uber Eats guy chilled out. Why so spikey, bro?

Picking up the Ladies

It’s a bit of a cliche but we’ll be the first to admit it, there is something very attractive about a handsome man doting lovingly over his daughter. Yep, sometimes the ladies can be pretty basic like that. Smart dude for knowing how to take advantage.

Unfortunately, this pesky mom got on her high horse and said no to his very reasonable proposition. The nerve! We’re kidding! No place for liars here, we hope he didn’t fool any innocent victims with a different fake child.

For Crying Out Loud

Nobody wants to get their heart broken, especially in front of people, or in this case, in someone else’s auditory range. Yikes, how embarrassing. But if you do happen to be a witness to someone else’s breakup, be chill about it.

Not like Ryan over here, who made darn sure to crush this poor soul’s already smushed-up heart. Well, it’s sort of amusing, maybe. Heaven knows we’d be down to listen to a recording of what went down there!

Emoji Feud

We know that mustache from miles away, that’s Family Feud’s, Steve Harvey. At least parts. The rest? Well, some genius troll created this hilarious image with the smart use of emojis and two enlarged parts of the funny man’s face.

What are they implying here? The fact that Steve Harvey has really small features and a huge head? We have no idea, either way, it’s just too funny to look at!

The Lord Has Spoken

You can’t take Tristan anywhere without him making a scene. The guy can’t even handle behaving at a Walmart! While that may be kind of annoying for the employees, the scene described here is actually hilarious and we wish we were there when it happened.

We’re also pleased that old Tristan took the news in stride. Whether he remembers it or not, he is right about this being pretty awesome.

Patience, Dear

Sometimes, in those heated and ferocious texting sessions, when you’re in the middle of a very long textologue, (that’s text monologue) you need the other person to just hang back with the replies. In these cases, messages can very quickly ping pong back and forth without a proper point ever being made, and this person was having none of that!

And neither was their buddy, who turns out, is really just a massive troll. This poor texter was so eager to send their long message without interruption, but in a cruel twist of irony, the only person in the way of that was, in fact, themselves.

Baby Names

Perhaps if you’re in Hollywood, you can get away with naming your kid “Tomorrow,” but we regular folks tend to go with more traditional sounding names. Come on dad, don’t get fancy here, just name the kid “John.” At least that’s according to Dylan.

Jokes aside, we know this dude is trolling poor dad. There’s no way that anyone is actually naming the baby Tomorrow! He’s only referring to the fact the naming ceremony, will be in fact, TOMORROW.

Oh, Nana

Hats off to all the grandmas who are so with it that they’re texting their grandkids about our favorite pop bands. Even if they’re a little off the mark, we appreciate the effort. This nana wanted to see if her grandkid saw the band One Dimention.

You know the band, the one with Barry Myles and Malik what’s his face. Ah yes, nana. I haven’t seen them yet, but I sure would love to…

Healing Time

We’re so glad that Ryan Neighbor is there in times of need. A broken heart needs words of comfort and good company. Though it seems that this is not where this poor soul is going to get it.

Ryan Neighbor just wanted a burrito, and money for it too! Come on man, read the proverbial room. And also, get a job. How can you not afford a burrito?

Establishing Your Relationship

Emojis are an excellent way of communicating your feelings, and the fact that they are so varied really helps us get more nuanced messages across. Like, for example, the colors of hearts, a thing you don’t want to get wrong.

If red is love and blue is friendship, then these two people cleared up something quite crucial. Hopefully, no one’s feelings were hurt in the end but it is important to know, who is your friend and who is your lover.

Dr. Google

From diagnoses to treatments, Google has got you covered for all your medical needs (most of the time.) Thankfully this super important text message, though sent to the wrong person, still landed up in the right hands.

The saddest part about this message is that the medical experts figured it out later. On the other hand, we are pleased to know that they didn’t just Google it.

The Allah Cart Menu

Kev needed to know if the restaurant they were going to was “allah cart” supposedly so he could better prepare himself? Well, Kev, if you are going to ask, we implore you to first find out how to write it.

This is a French word, so you’re going to have to be a little careful with your spelling. That’s à la carte, to you sir! Where is your class?

Buddy, Did I Stutter?

It seems that little Checkers is one robust little cat that can withstand the natural elements and even wild animals. At least that’s what his owner seems to think. When letting his pesky neighbor know about that, he did not intend on holding back.

Pinterest / angelicakamau9

We feel a little bad for the neighbor though, who was only trying to be nice! Well, if anything happens to Checkers, it’s not on his conscious that’s for sure.

Got Your Nose

When you’re so drunk you’re trying to bite your own nose and fear it running away, that’s pretty drunk! And it sounds like classic Sean who just can’t hold his beer. Thankfully he had his trusted bestie there to make him feel safe.

Or so we hoped. Looks like his bud just had a good time cracking up at his silly friend. Honestly, we can’t blame him.

Bad Energy Barbara

This proud daughter posted her mom’s savage text about sour aunt Baraba, insisting that there is no way she’s coming to this year’s Thanksgiving dinner. Mom only wants good vibes and Aunt Barbara is just so not that.

We do appreciate the time her daughter took to show off her mom’s text. We do always love a vibe check, and mom did it perfectly. Sorry Barb, we hope you’re not on Twitter.

Bless You!

It’s a social must to say bless you to the person who sneezes. A sneezer should never go unblessed like that. We shudder at the thought. So when this understandably hurt man told off his girlfriend for not blessing him, we could only sympathize.

On the other hand, his Google search is a touch on the dramatic side. At the end of it all, this little exchange is actually very amusing. We hope his feelings weren’t too hurt.

Poor Missy

Alexa’s kids aren’t messing around. They know who they want at the sleepover, and it sure as heck isn’t Missy. The last time she came over, it was a total downer. Thankfully, Alexa’s mom is fully behind her daughter’s decision.

We hope Missy’s mom gets the message, and while we feel somewhat bad for her daughter, we have a hunch that both Missy and her mom are kind of annoying to be around. These things are usually genetic.

Bye, Good Night. Now Go Away

When you can’t sleep, it can be soothing to turn to the one you love for some comfort. Or at least some late-night chit-chat, whatever keeps those nighttime jitters away. Unfortunately, sometimes you can bark up the wrong tree.

Like in this case, whoever received that message, clearly was in the same situation, and in fact, wanted a peaceful and restful night without the messaging. So ultimately, it was good night and good riddance!

New Crush

We’ve all had that feeling where our crush texts us and our faces light up from seeing what’s on the screen. It’s the most obvious thing in the world and the best way to spot a little blossoming romance. But sometimes that grin isn’t about love.

At least not love for a special for someone, but rather, a tasty looking dish, which, let’s face it, is sometimes a lot more satisfying. So when mom caught her daughter’s eyes light up from her phone, she naturally had questions.

It’s a Life-Style

There are certain shows in the world that are far more than just mere entertainment, they are a way of life, and if you’ve seen “Parks and Recreation,” you’ll understand what we’re talking about. Looks like this person has it all figured out.

Luckily for them, they have seven seasons to get through, so that’ll surely keep them busy for quite some time. Unfortunately for whoever texted them the big existential question, that might be bad news.

Getting Heated

When chatting with a significant other, things can get a little spicy, at least that’s what one of these two hoped for. Instead, they were met with a literal picture of chili peppers. We’re sure that’s not what they had in mind.

It got even worse when the flaming “U” was sent in return. Damn, well, this person seems to be barking up the wrong tree. Time to move on, buddy.

Landlord Woes

It can be challenging to get your landlord’s attention. Rarely do they respond to their tenant’s desperate cries. In this case, our guy sent his landlord a message communicating that the hot water is quite simply “broken.”

Unfortunately, there’s no real way to convey this in pictures, so it looks like this was the best he could do. Funny? Yes. We just hope the landlord didn’t reply with something equally ridiculous like, “looks fine to me!” Knowing their reputation, it’s likely.

The Broken Record

When you get a certain jam in your head and can’t let it go, others around you might suffer. But hey, that’s their problem! You just want to focus on that killer track, even if that happens to be for three hours straight.

We honestly can’t quite fathom loving a song that much but who are we to judge. This guy certainly judged, not only the sheer length of time which this person played the song, but also the actual song itself!

Damn Autocorrect

This evil daughter tricked her dad with a little autocorrect adjustment. Apparently, she wasn’t too fond of daddy-dearest using the word “kewl” in his texts. Can we blame her? Sigh, boomers. This genius prank probably left him completely stumped.

She then posted it to Twitter! We wonder if she started a global trend of kids trolling their dads’ autocorrect. If so, we can only imagine the hilarious things that came out of it.

R.I.P Car

When this certain individual got a “my condolences” text, their first response was that it was the wrong number of course, because, fortunately, there was no tragedy that they knew of! We are happy about that, but there’s more.

Turns out Chloe had that text locked and loaded. We imagine the look on her face when she pressed send, we assume it was a look of pure satisfaction. Clearly, Chloe was waiting to tow away that car! That’ll teach you!

Ex Texting

It’s hard to let go of an ex, sometimes that little heart takes a while to heal. Throw some drinks into the mix and you have a recipe for an unhinged drunk texter. Looks like this girl wanted to let her ex know the terrible effects of curry noodles.

Looks like he wasn’t too fazed by the message and just sent an “ok.” What’s with the x’s though? Aren’t they supposed to be over!? Looks like we’re not getting the full story here, and we don’t like it one bit.

Hi, It’s Dog

Hey there! It’s me, I’m a dog! Don’t ask any questions, just behold my cuteness and stare in wonder. That’s essentially what’s happening here and we blame neither the dog nor the sender because gosh, that thing is cute.

The twist in the story though? This person confused the little pooch for a cat! How is that possible? We simply have no idea. This person needs to learn about animals pronto. In any case that is one cute dog.

The Nodship

Melissa would like you to know that she has no interest in your boring small talk and would much rather conclude any interaction with a friendly nod and simply move on. She’s not trying to be rude be she wants you to know that talking to you is simply unbearable.

Well, this person got your message loud and clear. No small talk is necessary, in fact, if you’re looking for simple gestures to use in the hallways, he sure has one for you. While we hate awkward small talk, we kinda hate Melissa now more.

Pool Party

So, basically, could you not show up and embarrass me in front of my super cool hipster friends? Yeah, that’s not going to happen, as this hardened biker wants them to know. In fact, this annoying message will produce the exact opposite of what they want.

Now that biker guy knows the party is on, seems like he’s suddenly inspired to make his own little shindig with his own wild friends. They probably should have just said nothing, to begin with.

A Special Exception

Some properties just don’t allow pets. They tend to get loose outside, make a mess, and sometimes even noise. It’s sad, because who wouldn’t want a fluffy friend at home? They make the best companions ever.

It took just this picture to convince the landlord to change his policy. How can you resist this cat? Yes, that smile seems a little photoshopped but, hey, looks like they got away with it anyway. Let’s just hope Kitty behaves itself.

Easy There, Mom

Looks like someone wanted to take Mrs. Whoever She Is for a romantic breakfast at IHOP. Apparently, he tried to get this woman to leave her loving hubby and five kids for a soiree at the wild pancake franchise. Well, this woman was having absolutely none of that, especially since he didn’t even want to pay for it!

Hang on, this is just the woman’s daughter Gracie. Dear Lord, woman! What a wild imagination, and also save your daughter’s number on your phone! What’s that all about?

Late-Night Cleaning

When asked “are you seriously vacuuming at 1:40 am?” the answer was as literal as could be! Of course, this person would not vacuum seriously! Who does that? Cleaning is generally a fun activity that involves good vibes, smiles, music, and of course the odd “bootie shake” here and there.

Even if it is after 1 AM. Understandably their neighbor doesn’t quite agree with this and insisted that they shut it off immediately. But vacuum person was just having far too much fun to listen. Rude or funny, you decide!

He’s Bringing Chilli

This guy would like Andrew to know that he will be attending the potluck on Saturday and that he will in fact be bringing chili. He is bringing the chili. Did you get that? We believe that Andrew got the message loud and clear. Hang on, this isn’t Andrew.

Oh well, who cares. Whether or not you’re Andrew, you now know that this dude is bringing chili to the potluck.

Fantastic, Yes

Mom got super excited about her kid’s outstanding grade in chemistry. So much so that she unknowingly cursed about it! In her defense, she had no idea what the actual meaning of WTF was. It almost looks like she’s doubting her son or daughter’s abilities.

Poor mom just thought the popular internet phrase meant “Well That’s Fantastic.” Looks like no one actually took the time to correct her, so that might result in some more funnies down the line.

Wrestler Cats

We’ve heard of laser cats, but now wrestler cats? Sure felines can be pretty vicious but we doubt they’re going to pick up any moves from the likes of current pro-wrestlers on WWE. No matter how cool those guys look, it ain’t doing much for cats.

That being said, it can’t hurt to try! Who knows, maybe one day their cats will get feisty enough to try out a move or two. Just keep them fed and happy in any case.

Auto Text Has Gone Haywire

One cool feature in mobile phones is the ability to turn on a ‘Do Not Disturb’ mode. This feature allows you to block all incoming calls and automatically send their respective numbers a custom message, explaining that you’re not available to answer. This Dad probably set his automatic response message to “In a meeting”, which could explain this weird sequence of identical messages.

We fail to understand how someone can send the exact same message so many times in any other way. Perhaps the kid’s father just really didn’t want to talk.

Basic Logic 101

While some parents feel that they can’t really talk to their children, there are many kids who feel the same way about their parents. Usually, one of the two thinks and talks in more emotional terms, while the other uses logic to make sense of things. When a parent isn’t fluent in their child’s language, it’s often the children who are in the frustrating position of trying to communicate basic facts.

Luckily, these exchanges can still give someone a good laugh, but that depends on their ability to turn an ironic situation into something funny rather than sad.

An Important Question

It’s always a scary situation when something that looks like a distress signal is communicated. Your entire life can change when your parent evokes something that smells like danger in their text, which is why Mom should probably be more careful next time in the way she articulates her texts.

Imgur / youandmeandrainbows

Hopefully, her daughter updated her that texting the police doesn’t work. But remember, there are no stupid questions… only stupid people.

Lack of Knowledge in the Art of Emojis

Back in the day, millennials had to use various letters and signs to create their emojis. This was a creative and brave exploration of combining language with artful communication. Many of us remember the time where ‘:-p’ meant sticking your tongue out and ‘:-o’ meant you were surprised.

Parents have sort of skipped that generation and went straight to today’s graphic, done-for-you emojis. Many of them don’t know how to activate and use these, which is what sets the stage for this funny exchange.

Tough Parenting

People often have the dilemma of either complimenting their child/spouse for something that they don’t agree with or just telling them the truth at the risk of being offensive. This mother clearly doesn’t care one bit about offending her daughter, as she breezes past her daughter’s inadequacies like she’s discussing tomorrow’s weather forecast.

If there’s one child on this list that most urgently needs some therapy, it’s gotta be this one.

Finding the Spacebar

The texts in this picture start with a loving message from a child to their parent. It quickly turns into a weird dramatic sensation before the mother replies. While many parents can get on board with the idea of having a touch-based keyboard, not all of them get how it works.

This Mom didn’t know where the space key is. Which ended up causing quite a funny situation.

No. Just… No.

We’re sure that this father genuinely wanted to tell his kid that he forgot his cell phone at home. Unfortunately, sometimes we get so attached to our mobiles that we forget that they are not us. The average person spends almost 100% of their day (including their sleep) next to their phone. This is why when someone loses their phone, our first instinct is to call their phone to tell them.

Hopefully, the dad realized his error and attempted to contact his kid in some other way. The alternative, where the father didn’t realize his mistake, is just too scary to imagine.

Supportive Parents

Sometimes parents like to tease their kids for their failures and weaknesses. It’s not necessarily a thing they do out of spite or malice, but more like a way to build the child’s character.

Getting a great morning message like that, only to have your hopes and dreams crushed by its ending is quite a sad experience. Hopefully, this daughter took her Mom’s tough love and managed to make the most of it.

Encouraging Parents

Some parents ascribe to the school of only giving their child positive reinforcement, while others employ a bit of tough love to get their kids together. Luckily, this mother has learned the ins and outs of motivation and uses her own unique method for making her child more social. She calls this the “bully method”, and has implemented it for the last few years with her children.

Of course, most of them are extremely depressed and unsuccessful, but that’s because the method is currently a work in progress.

Revenge of the Moth

In what is perhaps the best bit of dad humor on this list, this father chose to educate his daughter on the importance of bravery by mirroring her doomsday scenario with a smart retort of his own.

This girl is in serious trouble when you consider that she’s dealing with a super moth that can actually type on a mobile phone. Hopefully, they ended up opening a window so that it could fly away peacefully.

Something Weird in the Background

We all love to occasionally share a picture with our loved ones. Sometimes we meet a special someone and want to let our family know, other times we encounter a beautiful vista that we just have to take a picture of. Mothers and fathers are still getting the hang of the whole “camera on a phone” thing since they grew up in a time when phones and cameras were separate objects.

Facebook / SittieCates – Picha

This mother either didn’t realize that her finger was on the camera, and it looks like her kid was just tired of trying to explain.

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