Admittedly, the phrases “black magic” and “Satanic ritual” don’t instill a lot of confidence when looking for sound moral guidance. People picture human sacrifices, doleful incantations, and possibly “Dungeons and Dragons.” But before you burst into a Satanic panic, just know that according to Lifehack, “The Satan described by LaVey isn’t the one the Church Lady warned you about.” In fact, while LaVey sounds like a bonafide horndog in the text, the Devil has no horns, no dog, and no other body parts. Instead, Satan serves as a symbol for leading a joyous life.

LaVey makes it clear from the get-go that “under NO circumstances would a Satanist sacrifice any animal or baby!” There’s apparently mention of sacrificing a human who’s “asking to be cursed by their very action.” However, per Learning Religions, just like Satan, that sacrifice is symbolic. The site explains that LaVeyan Satanists are atheists, and thus “sacrificing a life to appease Satan is nonsensical.”