“We got a couple good leads,” said Mariah Hillman, co-founder of the Lofty Hopes pigeon rescue. “We found Cluck Norris. We’ve been chasing him all day.”

Hillman and her small crew had been chasing Senor Norris all day, laying trips in an effort to wrangle the cowboy pigeon about a half mile from the University of Nevada, Las Vegas campus.

“It looks like glue,” Hillman said after her daughter got close enough to see the hat situation atop Cluck’s head. “There are feathers stuck to the hat.

Glue, rubber cement, or plain old industrial epoxy — there’s not a darn thing under the sun that justifies permanently gluing little hats to pigeons. Surely there’s something better this perpetrator could be doing with their time. Wherever you are, pigeon abuser — save the pigeon heads and use your own to do some good in the world. Otherwise there might be a certain pigeon coop caretaker and world champion heavyweight boxer with a face tattoo looking for you, to say nothing of the black belt pigeon you violated. If Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird, imagine what Cluck can do.