32% Of People Think This Band Would Give The Worst Prom Performance

Going to the prom is a time-honored tradition for American teenagers. The music that accompanies the awkward dancing, while wearing instantly dated formalwear, is an important part of the whole scene. It’s fun to think about what band would set the scene and give the best prom performance, but it’s even more fun to consider which band would give the absolute worst, memorably terrible, completely anti-prom performance. To that end, Grunge asked 518 people around the United States, “Which band would give the worst prom performance?”

Coming in as the second place “winner” for the band that would give the worst prom performance is GWAR with 22.59 percent. It would certainly be a real conversation starter for the rest of your life if your prom was somehow headlined by the self-appointed “scumdogs of the universe,” per the band’s website. Featuring band members such as Pustulus Maximus and Balsac The Jaws O’ Death in their trademark horrifying costumes, the prom would probably consist of their shows’ usual schedule of “fake pagan rituals, corpses spewing washable bodily fluids on the audience, and sometimes a mechanical giant maggot,” according to AllMusic. On the other hand, is there a better metaphor for high school than having what’s built up to be the most wonderful night of your life interrupted by strange rituals and oozing bodily fluids?

Slow dancing with the scumdogs of the universe

Trailing behind GWAR (always a scary place to be) is Mötley Crüe, with 15.25 percent of the vote, followed by Pink Floyd (11.39 percent), The Who (7.92 percent), and Aerosmith (6.56 percent). A small but mighty 4.05 percent of respondents chose “Other” and filled in answers ranging from The Beatles (really?) to Nickelback (really).

The winners (after a fashion), capturing nearly a third of the votes (32.24 percent), was Black Sabbath. It is indeed hard to imagine slow dancing in brand-new high heels with the person with whom you’re going to have a tear-filled, heartbreaking breakup in a few short months to the sludgy, heavy sounds of classics like “War Pigs” and “Paranoid.” Sure, they may have what Rolling Stone called “sinister majesty” and they essentially invented what we now recognize as heavy metal with “a curious mix of footslogging blues and ornately gothic melodies that paradoxically both paid tribute to and showed a great fear of death and the underworld,” but there’s a time and place for that, and the prom is probably not it.

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